i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just pee around me
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize