She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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