a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
