my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
