oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
i think my cat just said my name.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
