so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
