Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
