I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
