I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
