How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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