Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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