I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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