I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
