I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
