I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
