remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
