i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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