brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
