im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
