Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
