I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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