D3 body, D1 cock
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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