Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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