would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
