smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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