At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
