remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
