Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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