He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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