Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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