I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
