i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
