But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
