morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
