I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
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