She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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