rhymes with "ouble enetration"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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