i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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