I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize