The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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