I want to have your abortion
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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