dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
