Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize