So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize