recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
