The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
