dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
