Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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