I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize