your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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