I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
