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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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