I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
