i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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