thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize