Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
