arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize