The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
