Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
