Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
