weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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