whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize