The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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