Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She bit a glass in half.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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