When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
