Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
