In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize