I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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